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Sibling Love: A Confusing Enigma

 


“Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.” – Sam Levenson

This is a quote that I believe truly reflects the feelings of siblings for each other. This month we have been assigned to write about “Love.” In our society when we hear the word love most people imagine Bollywood kind of love and images of a boy and girl dancing around trees flash in their minds.

I will take this opportunity and write about love between siblings which is a very different kind of love. I believe it is a deeper, intense, and purer type of love. Some may disagree with me but I believe that there is no bond stronger than that between siblings. Although the relationship between siblings is quite complex and a paradox that has yet to be resolved, it is very beautiful and unique at the same time. Through this article, I would like to try and explore the intricacies of the bond between siblings.


Siblings are the best gift that our parents give us. When we travel down memory lane our earliest memories include siblings. When we think of siblings we think of love, rivalry, joy, compassion, care, laughter, and forever friends. Along with our parents, siblings are the only ones who are there during the good times and the bad times. They understand why we act in a certain manner.


In our society, the family unit is very strong and all the family members have a particular role to play in the family. Brothers tease their sisters mercilessly and can tirelessly squabble with their sisters at the same time brothers do get annoyed and suddenly become very protective if they find out that someone has been irritating their sister. Sometimes brothers and sisters argue so loudly that they may end up giving their parents a headache and the next moment they may end up protecting each other from the angry parents. Arguments may be about anything ranging from gobbling each other's snacks to borrowing money from each other and forgetting to return it. Brothers are good at hiding their sisters’ stuff or fighting over a TV remote when they want to watch a cricket or a football match.


But with changing times brothers not only help with outdoor chores but also help their sisters with household chores like sometimes giving a helping hand with cooking and may end up making better food than their sisters.


As far as sisters are concerned they spend most of their time together. Due to the dynamics of our society sisters usually study in the same school. Many a time's sisters share the same room. Usually, sisters have the same hobbies or take part in the same activities sometimes partly by default as parents usually sign both the sisters for the same thing as it is expected without any questions that both the sisters would have the same interests. Sisters usually hang out with the same group of friends. In most cases, household chores are also divided between sisters if one cleans the other cooks. Sisters mostly go shopping, to beauty salons and social gatherings together.


Sisters advise each other about almost any and everything on the earth from dressing to something as serious as career advice or marital advice. Sisters share deep confidences without the fear of being judged. It’s like having a personal therapist. Sisters usually borrow each other’s cosmetics, clothes, and accessories. When one sister goes shopping and buys stuff for herself she ends up buying something similar for her sister.

Sisters can spend hours talking about anything and everything. Many times sisters can be found rolling over the floor laughing hard with tears in their eyes while gossiping about some distant relatives, school bullies, mean girls, secret crushes, or crazy colleagues. Sisters usually share a secret language that others find hard to decipher.


Sisters may move away due to work or for studies or after getting married but usually, the distance does not affect the bond between sisters and they remain as close ever. The bond sisters share is ingrained so deeply that it doesn’t matter if one is in Pakistan and the other sister is residing in some other continent but sisters will make an effort to maintain their close bond.


In different phases of life, a person may have different friends. Friends drift apart but siblings are best friends and friends forever. They also have each other back. Siblings are our partners in crime. Even when siblings are not talking to each other or are angry with each other they will still look out for each other.


Sibling rivalry is as true and as painful as it comes. Most siblings face their share of rivalry during childhood. It is because of the comparisons created among siblings by parents, relatives, teachers and society at large. But most of the time siblings outgrow the rivalry as they grow old. Having a strong bond with a sibling is also good for mental, emotional, and physical well-being. A sibling is a friend and a companion forever.


All siblings have a relationship that is unique, intense, different, and has its own sets of complexities but having a sibling is amazing. A lot of the time siblings have a love and hate relationship. But siblings are there through thick and thin and their presence makes life so much better. Having a sibling is like having a companion, best friend, and advisor all in one.


“Siblings-the definition that comprises love, strife, competition and forever friends”- Byron Pulsifer


Note: Previously published in Perspective Magazine @theperspectivemag in August 2021



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